To those who have been visiting here any length of time, it will come as no surprise that this entire "war on Christmas" thing infuriates me. I'm not going to bother with any links, since the story has been played to death for the last few weeks. I will just say this: if you seriously believe that there is any kind of organized attempt to eliminate references to the Baby Jesus Birthday Party from American society, you are just too fucking stupid to breathe without instructions. Oh, and if I happy to see you, I'm a polite kind of guy, so I'll not laugh in your face. I'll just wish you happy holidays. 'Tis the season.

On to another heartwarming subject: the clown in the White House. I realize that if you are a true supporter of the man, nothing I can say will change your mind of his divine inspiration, but saying this will make me feel better. All of you South Floridians who think that some hallucinatory "war on terror" gives the president the right to lie to us and our allies, steal from the poor for personal gain, detain and torture people who have not been charged with any crime, appoint incompetent cronies to critical government positions, and spy on the very people he was ostensibly elected to protect, then let me suggest a local island paradise with similar powers granted to its leader: Cuba. Emigrate now before the old bastard dies. I think you'll find it suits you, and there's less pretense of civil rights.

Last thing for now, before I break my rage meter. I try to buy as many gifts as I can on-line, because I hate going to malls under the best of circumstances, and this time of year Bush could save money by sending his swarthy suspects to Aventura as a cheap form of torture. And I tend to spend too much money, because while I try and give gifts to my friends throughout the year, I am not immune to the year-end spending frenzy invoked by the media and marketers. (I also spend too much money because I have poor impulse control, resulting in buying as many new DVDs for myself as for my friends. I mean really, who would know to buy me the Faerie Tale Theatre collection? No-one. I had to buy it for myself.) But this year most of the dot-coms have let me down with their crappy inventory management. In spite of the web pages assuring me that the items selected are available for immediate shipment, nearly every order I have placed has ended up with a significant percentage of backorders. Thus I find myself scrambling to cancel the unshipped items, girding my loins, and venturing forth into the frothing sea of ill-tempered and violent holiday shoppers.

Bah, humbug, indeed.