I don't have a lot of traditions associated with Thanksgiving, besides the requisite over-eating. I'm not an enthusiast of gladiatorial sports unless there's a possibility of death for the losers, so that doesn't mean much to me. I'm not a big parade buff, either — too many years of marching band pretty much saps that from you. But I do enjoy getting together with my father and brother and sharing a meal, in no small part because they do a pretty good job of cooking.

My own limited contribution to any Thanksgiving feast — other than my allegedly scintillating wit, of course — is homemade cranberry sauce. I don't know why, but people seem to like they way I make it. Try the recipe yourself and let me know what you think.

Spiced Cranberry Relish

This is the weird, lumpy kind of cranberry relish, not the Jell-O looking stuff. This recipe makes a lot, too, so cut it in half if you only have four for dinner. Or use the leftover relish as topping for ice cream.

• 2 bags fresh cranberries
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 3/4 cups water
• 2 Tbsp orange juice
• a shot or two (or three) of dark rum
• a cinnamon stick
• a few whole cloves
• a little bit of freshly grated ginger

• Dissolve sugar in water in a saucepan (with lid), and bring to a full-tilt boil. Make sure the saucepan is bigger than you thin you'll need, or you'll have a hell of a mess to clean up. (Trust me on this.)
• While the water is heating up, sort through cranberries, tossing out any that look sketchy.
• Once the boil is roiling, add the cranberries, then let the pot build back to a boil. Listen to the cool, muffled pops as the berries explode.
• Stir frequently with one of those big, fat wooden spoons, turning the mix.
• Add the juice, rum, and spices. Stir it up good, then reduce the heat.
• Cover the pot and let it simmer for 10-15 minutes. If you get bored waiting, you can stir every now and then. Or just have some of that rum.
• Once it has thickened up some, turn off the heat and remove the lid.
• Turn through the mix, picking out the cloves and cinnamon stick (see note below).
• Let it cool to room temperature on its own before you toss it in the fridge.

• Make sure you count how many cloves you put in, and pick them out afterwards. Biting into a whole clove is a nasty, nasty experience. Also, don't overdo it, no more than maybe two or three.
• The ginger is purely optional. A small amount adds a nice highlight; a lot gives it a bite.
• I imagine you could substitute rum extract if need be, but I don't know how much you would need.
• You'd be surprised how tasty this is as a topping on good vanilla ice cream.

Actually, I do have another Thanksgiving tradition, one I will celebrate a bit early this year. For those who have not heard it (and those who have), here is WIlliam S Burroughs reading his poem "A Thanksgiving Prayer."