James has asked that people post lists of five personal traits for which they unduly care about the opinions of others. As I have said before, I don't usually participate in this sort of "blog challenge" rigmarole, but in this case it took me long enough to sort of exactly what he was asking that I am already somewhat invested.

This is not a difficult challenge. As much as it pains me to admit it, I do care too much about the opinions of others. I just don't care as much in the traditional "Does this make my butt look big?" kind of way. My social insecurities are subtler than that, much to my dismay.

• "My co-workers think I am a slacker." When viewed logically, this is patently ridiculous. I put in a lot of hours at my job, I perform work-related tasks on my own time, and I never take a vacation where I am unavailable to my team. In spite of this, I always feel like I am not working hard enough.
• "People think I am ignorant and poorly educated." I'm a college drop-out, and even though I do the best I can, I spend a fair amount of time among those equipped with sheepskins. As a result I tend to feel as though people can tell I haven't had a formal education, and this bothers me.
• "My manners mark me as a bumpkin." I know without a doubt the source of this insecurity. My mother was always nervous about eating in "fancy restaurants" (anything further upscale than TGIFridays), because she thought she would use the wrong fork and be publicly mocked for it. Even today, when I am in a formal setting, I feel that same frisson of terror on looking at the place settings and seeing more than one fork.
• "I don't care enough, or I care about the wrong things." I tend to become too emotionally invested in people and causes, and do so too quickly. Predictably, when I encounter gross injustice I have a hard time letting go and accepting the "things we cannot change" from the platitude. When I do let go I often pull back so far I become remote and self-isolating. Yea, verily, I lack emotional discretion.
• "I am boring and pedantic and pretentious." Well, okay, they might be right about this one. I don't handle parties well, and I do frequently ramble on about things no-one else cares about, or even knows about. Some people say that's part of my charm; others reply "Charm? What charm?" And I use semi-colons on a blog, ferchrissakes. How pretentious is that?

How many of these can I change in 2007? None, I imagine, but I will continue to keep them in mind. That's the best I can manage.