If you've ever worked for a corporation you are probably familiar with Succesories motivational posters. They feature a nicely photographed image — usually from nature, like an eagle or a mountain — with a bold caption and inspirational message. Most of us develop an immunity to them, often dismissing them with a quick eye-roll and inward sigh.

For almost ten years Despair, Inc. has been a lone voice in the wilderness stating the essential truths behind these simple-minded attempts to shore up the morale of defeated workers. They have created a successful line of Demotivators^® twisting the trope to satiric effect. Instead of the Successories "Character" poster — Adversity does not build character, it reveals it — we get the Demotivator "Adversity" poster — That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.

When my IT department moved into new offices about five years ago we bought a bunch of the Despair posters, framed them, and displayed them around the complex. Few people noticed them, because of the natural tendency to tune them out as corporate noise. Those who took the time to read them, though, enjoyed them. While it may smack of explaining the joke, the reality is that people are generally smart enough to know that no job is perfect, no workplace is consistently pleasant, stress comes to us all, and posters that wink at you and exaggerate the frustrations of corporate life actually help morale. Unfortunately, after five years someone finally complained and we were told to take them down (by a Human Resources person who loved them, but was obligated to do what she was told no matter how stupid).

The fine folks at Despair have now expanded their cynicism to include clothing: DespairWear. There are several lines available, Warning Labels, Despair Illustrated, SubTexts, and more. There's even a line just for kids, in case you suspect your child is a little too normal.

So the next time you find yourself feeling so chipper that your status as a curmudgeon is in danger, the next time you find yourself fighting the urge to smile uncontrollably in the company of your black-clad poser friends, visit Despair.com. It will wreck your day.

(Of course, if there was any justice in the world I would get a cut from anything you bought as a result of visiting Hidden City, but there isn't any justice, so I won't. It's okay, it's just the way the world works.)