Today on the phone an otherwise very pleasant woman called me the spawn of Satan. She did so in connection with me asking her if she planned to vote yes or no on Florida's proposed constitutional amendment number two:

Florida Marriage Protection Amendment
This amendment protects marriage as the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife and provides that no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized.

Now if you are a homophobe — although I doubt many readers of this site fall into that odious category — then this will sound just peachy to you. After all, the more happy couples you see around you, the more obviously pathetic and loveless your own lives will appear. Unfortunately, in addition to preventing gay marriage from ever becoming a reality in Florida (although there are no less than four laws already on the books preventing it), this also has the potential of wreaking havoc on the lives and plans of Florida's elderly population, allow additional in-roads for the state to interfere in policies and benefits provided by corporations and other institutions, and undo the numerous domestic partnership registries created by many counties and municipalities. The chaos created by the highly (and sadistically) ambiguous wording of the amendment would cost Florida taxpayers and companies a fortune in legal fees to begin to unknot.

And then there is the simple matter of it not being the state's business to define love in any way. If I was running the zoo I would pass a constitutional amendment replacing all legislative references to "marriage" to "civil union" and leave marriage in the hands of the churches; let the state worry about contracts, and let love remain a matter of faith. But that's just me, and I'm a dangerous radical.

And also, it seems, the spawn of Satan for feeling that way. So it goes. I don't mind the name calling, really. Some withered bitch on the phone calling me a "goddam faggot" rolls off my back; so do all the violent phone-slams and the "my wife will vote the way I god damn tell her to vote" statements. But those are more than compensated by the people who don't understand the wording of the amendment, and who appreciate me taking the time to explain it to them. Hearing people say "Hell no, I'm not going to vote for that!" also feels good, and the occasional person like 78 year old Elaine make it all worthwhile. Elaine didn't really understand the proposal at first, and then said "Wait, are we still fighting this battle? What the hell is wrong with those people in Tallahassee? Who gives a good God damn who wants to fuck who? Let everybody be happy for Christ's sake!"

Amen, Elaine. A-fucking-men.

If you plan to take advantage of early voting, please vote no on amendment two. Tell your friends and neighbors and church members that this amendment is not what they've been led to believe. And if you are in Miami-Dade and have some time between now and the election, please consider volunteering a couple of hours on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Saturday to help us reach out to voters who have been misled about this immoral and dangerous proposal. Hey, if you volunteer next Saturday, I'll even buy you lunch.

[For more information, visit SayNo2.com.]